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Updated Dec. 15! On my forum, Joe has an advice section called "Ask Joe". I've decided to put them up for public consumption, since
it's such a hit at CJ. All questions were submitted by forum members. I have TONS more to post, so keep checking back.
Do you have a sticky sitch you need help with? Gotten yourself in a pickle? Joe's your Man with a Plan! E-mail Joe! *SOME ADULT HUMOR IN THIS*

Q. Dear Joe, Why is it that sometimes my date tells me he "wants" to kiss me, but when I try, he rejects me? Please help me! You're my only hope! Love and kisses, Sad and Rejected Sim ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, Once upon a time you used to come and see me. I miss the woohoos. signed, a rejected Bella Goth ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, Why do you never come and see me anymore? Why do you never call? After all the good times we shared, all the love and romance, and especially the children I gave you, and the promises of a life together...do they mean nothing to you? What was I, just another notch on your bedpost??? Brokenhearted and Depressed, Brandi Broke ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear everyone, I quit. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Whaaat?! You never even started! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear sad and rejected, We sims are a miserably confused little species. Sometimes our hearts think we want something and our heads just say no. Many of us have emotional issues. Many of us have commitment issues. Most of us have hack conflicts. If I were you, I would try busting a few moves on him first. Perfect prelude to a kiss right there. Get that daily up, get that lifetime up, and get that crammyboy mesh in its upright position, locked and loaded, and you are good to go. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Rejected Bella Goth, Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...hmmmmmmmmmmm....... well, you see it's like this: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Broken and Depressed Brandi Broke, Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...hmmmmmmmmmmm....... well, you see it's like this: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, When my hubbie and I woohoo, we have a good time, but he just rolls over and goes to sleep afterwards! I want to cuddle. Why does he do this? Sadly yours, Needing affection ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear needing affection, Let the man sleep. Jeez. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I just found my husband kissing our maid, and he says he can't help himself because he's a Romance sim. What does that mean? He also says his Sim goddess makes him do stuff and he has no choice. I don't buy that. What do you think? Sincerely, Mary-Sue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Mary Sue, Please tell Daniel to leave me alone. Or to at least leave the sports pages behind. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ugh. Fine. A. Dear Mary Sue, Romance sims cannot be held responsible for sleeping with the maid. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah, apparently Val does not like how I'm approaching this question. A. Dear Mary Sue, A romance sim has...special needs. About 30 or so, and they all have to be fulfilled by different sims. So it is important to understand that your husband is only doing what is necessary to avoid that lonely dance with the mop. As much as I hate to admit it, Daniel is correct. edit to add: I hate Daniel. He screwed my second wife. I don't care about his "special needs" any more than you do. Kick him to the curb. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, Was it really necessary for you to make out with my wife? signed, your sad and confused son, Josh ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Josh, I deeply regret what I have done. But, once the Romance Mod is updated, you will not care about that anymore, my son. Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Hello. My name is Ovrlee Keen and I am a Knowledge Sim at Uni. I recently found myself mysteriously moved into another dorm, wherein I encountered a lovely lady with 3 bolts of lightning flashing on top of her head. She came up to me and Flirted Suggestively, which I found extremely intriguing considering we had only just met, and after answering a quick question from the young lady related to our shared major of Biology, I hastened to the bookcase to research romantic interactions. A little later, inspired by what had occurred and what I had read, I decided to try a bit of the old Sweet Talk. To my immense disappointment and surprise, the young lady pushed me away and our relationship dropped a whole third, from 15/0 to 10/0. Although devastated, I told her how much I admired her and back we went to 15/0. She then proceeded to sweet-talk me! I responded positively, but before I could continue the exchange, she disappeared into the bathroom. Joe, in your infinite wisdom and with all your years of experience, do you think this young lady is serious in her intentions, or just stringing me along? How come she rejected my 15/0 sweet-talking, but offered her own 15/0 sweet-talking? Is it OK for ladies to sweet-talk at 15, but men have to wait until 20 or something? I graduate soon and she still has more than half her studies left to complete - do you think I should wait for her? It may help if I add that I am really turned-on by her glasses and her little pink hat. Oh, I am also very upset at the moment because when I mysteriously appeared in this other dorm, I discovered that I had left my bed behind. This bed came from my home, I had been sleeping in it since I was a little boy. My parents died just before I left for Uni and my bed reminded me of them because they used to tuck me into it. It was blue with little coloured stars all over it and I don't like my new one, it's a horrible dirty brown colour with blue spots on. Do you think I should start a mission to get my old bed back, or should I perhaps be thinking about double beds now? I am so confused. And Joe, please don't tell me I talk too much because I already know this. signed, Overly Keen ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Ovrlee Keen, Yes. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Damn. Val insisted I try again. This is not easy, you know. I'm just supposed to be nice to look at... A. Dear Ovrlee Keen, Yes. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ugh. Poot dat aweh. Fo shee say! Pardon my simlish. Did I not just answer this, Val? Twice??? Dear Ovrlee Keen blablabla, Always keep in mind that a "sweet talk" is much bolder that a "suggestive flirt". You may have been moving a bit too quickly for this confused chickadee. Bust a move (hope you have some dancing skill for this) and get that DR back up. I wouldn't try sweet talking until I was close to 50 with this one. She sounds like she may be a bit on the shy side. Or lacking a few playful points. Slow it down, and see how she responds. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe , I have a Dilemma recently My Brother was visiting my house Just after I married Brad and your old flame Brandi was there at my house as well.anyhow My Brother gave Brandi a quick peck on the Cheek .....which quickly turned to more and I am deeply distressed .fortunately Brad nipped my brother's heel and reminded him that he is married. My relationship with your old flame is now -79/-19 should I forgive Brandi as my husband suggests? or leave things the way they are? signed your distressed daughter Shellie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. My Dearest Daughter Shellie, Which brother did this, sweetie? I'm most likely his father. Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. you indeed are his father.it was my Brother Justin ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dearest Daughter Shellie I think you may need a break from the hair bleach. *Of course* any brother of yours is my son. I have signed you up for "Sarcasm 101: You reeeeally don't need this class" at the local community college. Sim U doesn't seem to be working out for you. I love you anyway, blondness, Winks and hugs, Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I have no time for the class as I have twin daughters with My hubby Brad and I also work Love your Daughter Shellie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dearest Daughter Shellie, How was I supposed to know you have kids? You're married to a guy name Brad, now? What about Tanner?! Nobody tells me anything. Have your mother give me a call. Love, Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, When you shipped me off to Miss Bangel you failed to ship Tanner so therefore I divorced him on the grounds of Desertion , The gypsy Matchmaker Introduced me to Brad Harper and it was love at first sight. we married and have beautiul twins Melinda and Melissa. hmmm as for Mom you failed to ship her as well so I no longer see her. the only ones Lucky enough to have their Mom's here are Justin,Colleen and Samantha, and Jacob and Josh. even if their Mom is that pukehead Brandi Broke your loving Daughter and Mom-to-be again Shellie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Shellie, Go to your room. This is an advice column, not a request thread. Love, Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I was doing what I do best, up-arm kissing my lovely maid, Lucy, when my very handsome gardener came over, slapped me senseless, and dumped the watering can on my head. Should I make him pay for my new man-perm, and should I leave Lucy for that hot pizza-delivery girl? Slick Jaques ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Slick Jacques, I make it a rule to never pay for my own man-perm. Lucy. Hanby, I suppose? Please. Have you tried Kaylynn? That is one foxy babe, right there. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Well, if i ever get tired of woohooing Lucy, I'll hire Kaylynn. I'll just miss Lucy's hospital corners... --Slick Jaques P.S. Do you know if Remmington is available? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Slick Jacques, With Kaylynn there will never be a *need* for hospital corners, ya know what I'm sayin'? Remington, huh? Last I heard, he was dating Alexander Goth. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I'm still waiting for advice on the pukehead Ms.Brandi Broke Signed a frustrated Shellie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dearest Daughter Shellie, You should never talk about your mother that way. Oh, wait. She's not your mother. You're one of Jennie's. That's right... Eh. Forgive and forget, I'd say. You know how that Justin is... I just sincerely hope he doesn't screw around on his amazingly awesome, sexy and hot wife, Val. Then I may have to have a little chat with him. In your game of course. Love, Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, We have a Unique problem in our house concerning our father and our wives. it seems that if we errantly go to work ,or take Kids to school or anything else that takes us away from home,our Father tries to make out with our wives! we are at our wits end with this situation we love Dad but we don't want to share our wives with him. How can we make him understand that this is very distressing? without causing a huge family rift. Signed Frustrated Husbands Josh,Jamie, and Justin ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Josh, Jamie and Justin, You sound awfully familiar. Do I know you? Dad I MEAN Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe , yes you do know us well after all you changed our Diapers years ago. now back to the problem at hand.Advice Please signed Josh,Jamie.and Justin ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Josh, Jamie, and Justin, You, like your sister, obviously did not inherit the Bayfield sarcasm gene... Yes. I am your father. As I said to Josh, once the Romance Mod is updated, you will be back to your old bed-hopping ways, yourselves. What's wrong with you guys, anyway? You're romance sims! Did I not teach you well enough? Do I need to have the "romance sim talk" with you guys again that I gave you when you were newly-transitioned teens? I suppose you've forgotten our Secret Handshake, too. I must say, I'm a little disappointed. Come back to the dark side. My apologies, Jamie. I forgot you've switched aspirations. Uh...there is no secret romance sim club. Nope. None at all. What handshake??? Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, when you gave us the little "Romance Talk" you failed to mention that you intended to "charm" our future wives and worse yet use our beds to do so. are we to assume by this that its perfectly alright now if Justin heads off to Brandi's house and "charms" her into the bedroom or if Josh heads to Bella's house and "charms" his way into her "bedroom? you always told us that your ladies were off limits to us yet you think its perfectly alright for you "charm" Val,Maria,and Rainbow? signed an irritated Jamie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Jamie, Do as I say, and not as I do? Dad ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, since my wife rejected you .you sure have a bad attitude as for Justin and Josh I don't control them so you'll have to work it out with them as they have vowed to go after your Ladie's just to show you what it feels like. signed fair warning, Jamie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear everyone, Is it just me, or is this moving in an uncomfortable direction? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, it's Just you signed, BMOC Jory ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear BMOC, Present company excluded, of course. I have no control of, nor do I hold any responsibility, whatsoever, for what my "clones" and my family's clones do. My real kids and I are great buddies. And I've not done anything of this nature to them. Go kick your fake Joe's ass if it makes you feel better. Just remember, I won't feel a thing. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe , Not to worry in spite of the present issue your clone Maintains a 100/100 relationship with all of his family members including daughter in laws ,grandkids, and children and with 7 kids and 6 in laws and 17 grand children thats quite a feat signed BMOC Jory ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Hello, Ovrlee Keen here again. I wish to make a complaint to the person running this column. It seems to me that to get any decent advice one has to be related to this Joe person. While he may have offspring all over the place, I know that I am not related to him. I am the son of two Knowledge Sims, Jolly and Catriona Keen (nee Gothier) and they were both Mad Scientists. My father actually created my mother from a Tombstone of Life and Death. Yes, you heard me right. I will be a Mad Scientist myself one day and who knows what I may be tempted to do. Anyway, I just wanted to point out that where I come from, to Flirt Suggestively is quite a serious thing, whereas sweet-talking is quite mild. Suggestive flirting surely means hinting at bedroom activities, whereas sweet-talking is nothing more than complimenting the girl on her new hair-do. If it is different to this, I am either much older than I thought or more transatlantically-challenged than I thought. Or both. Probably the latter. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Ovrlee Keen, I apologize for my family clones ganging up on me getting the most attention. However, I can only respond to those who have actually written me. I have responded to you three times, you know. Val made me. She stands over me with a whip. Like she's doing now.... Okay. Well, you're obviously not of the maxian sensibility that a "suggestive flirt" is actually safer than "sweet talking". It doesn't make sense to me, either. And it could be that I have that backwards. I don't like to spend much time on the lower level flirtations, as they tend to make me yawn. And yawning isn't very becoming of me. By all means, if you wish to rebel against the maxian notion that sweet talking is the more dangerous of the two, then go for it. I would most definitely wait before caressing her, though. That is the real test, right there. Good luck, Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. oh dear... they're all great, but this was the one that knocked me off my chair...: "Dear Joe, was it really necessary for you to make out with my wife? signed your sad and confused Son, Josh" Zeljka ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Zeljka, "Necromancy is bad, m'kay?" Joe *Val whacks Joe upside the head* Dear Zeljka, I would like to apologize for my previous statement. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, How do you get a woman to Woohoo with you? How many women have you gotten to woohoo wtih you, if I may ask? I have a goal of Woohooing with 20 sims before I turn into an elder, and I really don't want to resort to being homosexual, so it's going to have to be 20 different female sims. Thanks, Joe, you rock man! Lusty Lover ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Lusty Lover, I have had 43. Justin's beaten me by 5, so he may really be the one to ask! Of course he started a lot earlier than I did, considering I didn't even have my first kiss with Miss Brandi until I was an adult, if you can believe that. If you're not willing to swing in the other direction, save homosexuality for use as a last resort. I have never had to go there, but my preference is also firmly established. However, if you are willing to experiment, it will increase your odds! All you can do, my friend, is charm her over and over again. If you're confident enough, and she responds well, kick it up a notch with a suggestive flirt and climb your way up the social ladder. Backrubs and break-dancing help immensely. I cannot stress enough the value of busting a move. Good luck my friend, Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Hello, Ovrlee Keen here. Joe doesn't seem too good at this Dear Abby lark, so I thought I'd help out. I'm a Knowledge Sim with Mad Scientist parents (dead ones, unfortunately) so I think I'm well-qualified. Well, sort of. There are several ways to do this. You can start a Woo-Hoo Boys & Girls bordello in your neighbourhood and visit it regularly, or you can get your own woo-hoo booth and do it all at home, or you can use TwoJeffs' Casual Romance hack and grab passing Romance Sims (they'll usually oblige straightaway), or best of all you can use one of LizzLove's woo-hoo beds set to "Swinger" and absolutely anybody in the entire neighbourhood will do it with you. Alternatively, you can realise the error of your ways and decide to change your aspiration to Knowledge. Should you choose this route (and I know you will, when you realise how much healthier it is), I will gladly talk to you again about exciting things like telescopes, chess sets and the curing of viruses. I am looking forward to it already. May I also say that you perhaps need to slightly lower your sense of self- importance? This may not be endearing you to the ladies. I say this because you have seen fit to start a new thread for your problem, when there was a perfectly good one already started. Now, please don't cry in the corner because I've pointed this out, or throw a water-balloon at me (depending on your Nice points), because someone had to mention it. I sincerely hope I have been of assistance to you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Ancient ("Ovrlee Keen") ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Ancient, You *should* blush! Here I was replying yet again to Ovrlee in the old thread, which is why I could not reply to this one before you did. You're lucky I am a playful sim. Joe P.S. So, what are you into? What's your sign? Turn ons? Turn offs? Can I buy you a drink? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I am a Fat,Ugly,Romance Sim who is also an elder and I wear dorky glasses, while I'm making friends I'm not having a bit of luck with the ladies. any advice to pick up my Romantic life? Signed Lonely in Romance City Ray ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Lonely Ray, You need to find a woman who does not have fitness as a turn on or fatness as a turn off. Glasses, dorky or not, are all the same in the eyes of a sim. Of course, sims are a bit dense, and think earrings also look the same as glasses. My son Josh was forever poking himself in the eye trying to put in his earring, but nevermind that. It would be helpful to find someone who likes glasses, at any rate. Bingo. No, that's it. Bingo! Find yourself a nice Bingo parlor full of old, fat, near- blind sims. Should be just the ticket for you. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, My name is Don and unlike My neighbor Ray I'm not Fat and I dont wear glasses nor am I old. but nonetheless Im a lonely Romance sim in a bit of a Dilemma. word has it that you have a great Romantic Life while Having a bunch of kids.I adopted twins that somehow appeared on My Back Porch while I was baking a Lemon Pie. they are Just babies so I didnt have the heart to turn them away how can I pick up my Romance with the ladies and still maintain these 2 babies? signed lonely Daddy Don Lothario ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear *snicker* Don, So they just *kmph!* appeared and now you have kids, huh? Whatever *giggle* will you do? Okay. *snort* Here's what you do. *chortle* Okay okay okay. For real now. *ha!* All right, I don't know. You're *heh heh* on your own, pal. Joe P.S. Nanny. Hire a nanny. *ha ha ha! hee hee! hoo hoo!* My sides hurt. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I have a unique problem My ex wife and I divorced when our now toddler was a newborn. however I still love my ex wife deeply and had hoped to get back together with her. the problem I have is that my ex wife remarried some new Sim in the neighborhood Allesandro Gupta and my Mom Brandi informed me that not only did Honey remarry but that Honey is now pregnant with twins, should I forget about Honey or stay single hoping that her new marriage will also fall apart? or should I start looking for some one else? signed a brokenhearted and bereft Jacob ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Jacob, Drop her. Not only does she apparently have the hots for your sister, she'll soon have twins. I don't go for that kind of package deal unless the sim in question has not slept with my sister. Dad I MEAN Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I am a male Knowledge sim who recently moved to the neighborhood . I met this lovely female Knowledge sim Simone Ancient at the neghborhood welcome wagon. and fell head over heels in love with her. we had our first date where I proposed an engagement and she said yes. anyhoo my question is this how do you feel about long engagements? Simone feels we should have a long engage ment and I just want to get married to her right away. signed unsure in Romance city Scott Trepie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Scott Trepie, I'm all for long engagements. Haven't had any long engagements, myself, but I often find myself wishing I'd put marriage off just a tiny bit longer. That's happened with all of my marriages. But I am a romance sim, and I will always be second- guessing any commitments I make. My son Josh has been engaged to his fiancee for quite some time now. And he is a romance sim, so he's being wise, in my opinion. My sons Jacob and Jamie (popularity and pleasure) are also engaged to very lovely ladies, but I'm wondering if they'll ever get around to tying the proverbial knots. Both of their engagements have gone on since last winter. You're a knowledge sim, however, so any decision you make will naturally be smarter that any decision I would make. So go with whatever makes you happy. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I have to ask you a dumb question Do you Like the Far Star Telescope? I had such an awesome time on our first date last night that I just had to give you a gift. you will find this gift on your porch......... Signed your Dream Date Kaylynn Langerak ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Dream Date Kaylynn Langerak, Well, yeah. Sure. That's great. A telescope. Hmmmmm... *ponders romantic possibilities of a telescope* Ah! I get it! For spying on neighbors undressing! My, my, my, you kinky girl...I didn't realize you were such a voyeur! *wink* Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I'm not feeling creative enough to be creative with my questions. That last sentence being a perfect example. I'm also feeling overwhelmed when trying to wade through other Sim forums so I hope you can help me here: 1) If I wanted to e-mail Val, would I use the e-mail in her profile [at CJ]? All my addies are gone with my laptop but that one seems different from the one I used to have. Then again, I might be hallucinating. 2) What's the matter with that confounded Maxis DJ booth? Everytime a sim gets a want to be a DJ, there's some jumping and apparently it's so severe that it knocks the booth right out of use for the rest of the night. Am I doing something wrong? Is there a fix? 3) Is it true that I cannot build a door directly between a sim garage and a house? It seems about typical - silly Maxis - but I'm not overjoyed about walking around the entire house to get into the garage. Tell me I'm missing something here. 4) Vampires: Will I know they're vampires just by looking at them? Where should I be looking? I didn't think I'd like that aspect of the game but my mood of today is ready to go out n' bite someone. I know there was more but they've slipped my memory at the moment. I also know that I could search another forum for answers but I've got the attention span of a gnat right now. Thanks muchly, ~That other Brynne girl. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Joe takes deep breath* A. Dear Whichever Brynne you are (and I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and guess that you are not my Brynne, because then I would have to assume she's finally gone off the deep end), 1. Val/Brynne can be reached at joebayfield@acuppajoe.net 2. The DJ booth rocks! I personally have never experienced the "jumping" you described. The only "jumping" I've seen is the frenetic dance moves used by the DJ, even during slow songs. 3. My son, Justin, and his most lovely wife are currently living in a house that has the garage attached directly to the house, and it is accessible through the living room. 4. I don't know a whole lot about the vamps, as they still give me the willies. But, yes, I do believe they have a distinct bluish look about them. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, What do you have against Pao? He's hot! Angry Pao-Lover (P.S. this is posted on behalf of a friend of mine...who really does think Pao is hot) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Angry Pao Lover, I'm sure Pao has a "very nice personality". Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, I have to wait fifteen more days before I can see my honey, and I don't know if I can make it without going insane. What do you suggest? Thanks! “Long-Distance Lover” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear "Long Distance Lover" Phone woohoo, cyber woohoo, you get the idea... Hang in there, buddy! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, Phone woohoo....cyber woohoo.....yeah, but it still leaves a bit of a void, if you catch my meaning, Joe. I guess sometimes you just have to work with whatcha got. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Person Who Wrote the Last Letter A void? Well, then. I can send you a catalog or two of items to help fill that "void"... Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Does that "catalogue" include pics of you Joe? Jojo ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. No, ma'am, but you know where to find me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, It is with desperation that I come to you as I haven't got a clue what to do about this. I'm at my Grandfather's house for a rocking Christmas party, my wife and I holed up in the rec room playing pool when some blonde I used to know back when I wasn't much more than a teen shows up with a teenage son she says is mine. Now I'm not saying he isn't exactly, but how'm I supposed to know if she's trying to pull a fast one or not? Diane, my wife, is getting all pissy about it even though I told her, even if the kid is mine it was way before we even met. So.... What do I do about the blonde with the kid, and how can I stop the wifey bitching 'til next christmas about this? Toby ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Toby I have a hard time relating to this one, my friend. It seems that every woman I get pregnant has her baby on my front lawn and takes off for the hills. I have raised all 14 of my kids on my own. That being said, blame the mistletoe. It's nothing but trouble. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. LOL, Poor Joe. How do you find time for romance with all those kids? Padme74 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Padme74 I have all those kids because I find time for romance... Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. I imagine that they would put quite a damper on things... Padme74 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Padme74 Well, I have 14 kids by 4 different women. Does it sound like my kids put a damper on things to you??? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, First let me thank you for taking some time off romancing and parenting to answere our questions. My problem is that I'm an Angel, yes you read that right, and I was sent to Veronaville with a mission. Too bad for me my wings failed and I landed very ungentlemenlike in the backyard of a very beautiful women. This causing me to completely forget my mission. What do you suggets me to do? Is there a potion or something I could drink to recover my memory? And if there isn't what should I do with the rest of my Angelic life? Yourse Sincerely, Gabriel Halo ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Gabriel Halo, Let me get this straight. You just fell into the backyard of a beautiful woman. And you're wanting to recover some memory of some mission prior to this. My friend, your life couldn't get any better if you tried. Forget remembering! Take off that halo and have a little fun! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Showcasing what a small attention span I often have for this game and how little I sometimes play, I bravely come to you with a newbie type of question: Does aging have to be on for pregnancies to progress? It would seem so now that I think about it but will I even know if they're pregnant if I forever keep aging off? Trusting it's an area of your expertise, ~That other Brynne chick ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A.Dear "other Brynne chick" No, aging does not have to be on for the pregnancy to progress. And, oh yeah, you'll know. Trust me on that one. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Yup - Yet another silly question from me. I still shake my head at knowing so little about Sims2 when I used to be so involved with Sims1 but that seems like another lifetime ago now. I guess it was... At any rate: This jealousy thing - How do I turn it off? I very wrongly assumed that I could spawn the adjuster from the casual woohoo mod and click jealousy then off. As my Sim is now having the living daylights slapped right out of her, I'm guessing that wasn't the way to go. Words of wisdom then? And much gratitude in advance. BrynneL ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear BrynneL If you're not opposed to using "non-awesome" hacks, the Insiminator is a very handy thing to have for exactly your purpose. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe. I am a happily married woman and mother of ten, my husband and I have been married for a lol time and we're still crazy about each other. We have had the ocasional slip, like that thing with Gtretchen, but I forgave him and he never found out about Sam so that doesn't count. My problem is this: Today while clothes shopping downtown I ran into a new guy he town, he introduced himself and we got talking and whoa! Not only is he smokin' hot, but we also seem to connect in a deeper and more meaningful way. Should I risk my family on a fling with this guy, or should I try and forget him? Natalija. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear hafta-copy-and-paste-your-name-because-I-can't- spell-it-worth-a-flip Natalija, Rumor has it this guy is pretty much the stud, huh? I mean he's just really that good looking. Huh? Yeah? So, what's your sign, baby? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, He is seriously the hottest guy I have laid eyes on since Sam, no doubt about it. I'm a saggitarius baby, think we'll connect? Natty ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Natty (yes, that IS much better), I'm a Taurus. We won't hate each other. I'll pick you up at 9. Oh. You meant him... Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, Meet me downtown at 9 is better. and him Him who? Natty ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Natty, The guy you met on the street, that's "him Him who". I hear he looks a lot like me. Nevermind that, I'll be there at 8:45. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why is it that your species is so unbelievably possesive? And if the option to propose a committed relationship has not indeed been optioned, then could we not assume that we're not in a committed relationship and thus jealousy is not necessary? How is it possible that a mere crush with someone results in getting the shit slapped out of you for holding hands with someone else? Crushes should not possess such jealousy and venom. Lastly, is spousal abuse not a crime in Pleasantville? 'Cuz sometimes it actually doesn't seem all that pleasant over there... Signed, ~Confuzzled ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Confuzzled Yeah, no kidding we're possessive! The other day I got the absolute shit slapped out of me because I was kissing Val. You'd think Marina was my wife or something, sheesh. Oh, wait. She is my wife. Damn. That's right. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, Q. I've managed to fulfilled my lifetime want to be a Mad Scientist early and maxed out all seven skills. Now, I'm bored and permanently platinum. What do I do? Have kids? Continue the quest for alien life forms? Change my aspiration to romance and woohoo until the reaper comes 'a knockin? I'm lost. Yours truly, Big R. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Big R. {"Change my aspiration to romance and woohoo until the reaper comes 'a knockin?"} Bingo. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I have recently been informed that there is an alternate version of me some- where in a parallel universe. This other me has developed a relationship with some chick named Brynne. Brynne, despite woohooing my brains out and appearing happy about it, has started to protest that she wants the guy that 'should have been perfect for her', either that or a four way orgy house. How do I convince her that I'm enough for her? Kit ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kit, If this is the same Sim Brynne/Val I've heard about, she's not exactly hard to persuade, in game. But she does want her cake and eat it, too, apparently. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, I sometimes feel strangely compelled to do things, I feel like there's someone controlling me, telling me what to do. Like now for instance, All I want to do is make out and Woohoo with as many women as I can, but instead I find I'm just staying in bed with my wife in between her having 35 children in about three days. This isn't normal right? Especially since they're all girls. How'm I ever going to manage to pay for that many weddings? J in Pleasantview. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear J in Pleasantville {"I find I'm just staying in bed with my wife in between her having 35 children in about three days."} Ya think??? Sounds like maybe if you got out of bed once in a while, she wouldn't be having so many damn kids. Anyway, I'm guessing you're a fellow romance sim. Either that or Family. Sheesh. Don't worry about the weddings. You can cheat your ass off with motherlode. I'm assuming you've already cheated your ass off since you've managed to have 35 kids in 3 days. As for wanting to woohoo with as many women as you can, well that's all part of our nature. It'll happen. Work on that charisma, buddy. And use a condom for Chrissakes! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Hold on... Sims have birth control? Data: "Joe-in-training" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Joe-in-Training: Lesson #1. Sims do not have condoms. It was a joke. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I know. Data ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Data Okay. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The two of you are sooo funny.... Q. Dear Joe, Speaking of offsprings I wonder if I should try and realise my baby want? My partner is a Romance (I myself used to be one). Do you think it would be ok for us to start a family? I've noticed you've been handling parenting wonderfully. I'm a bit concerned if my partner is able to handle it as good as you do, tho. Greets, Erica ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Erica Can you handle a bunch of rugrats running around? As long as one of you can, you should be okay. I've raised mine singlehandedly because the mothers of my kids couldn't handle the pressure. Bella, I can maybe understand. But Jennie and Brandi are family sims!!!! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, I think the world has gone mad. I don't know how, or why, but now I have over 100 offspring and still am being pressured into more, something about a particular look we're not achieving. How can I stop this madness? J in Pleasantview ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear J in Pleasantview Blame Jason for being so freakishly handsome. Like his father, of course. Also, you need my parents' genes. Which you don't have. So nyah. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I recently met a guy who was visiting my hometown on holiday, we had a great time at the pool hall and then he left and I haven't heard from him again since. Which is a shame, since I'd really like to introduce him to his son, Sammy: Nadine. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Nadine Uhhhhhhhh...Doesn't look like anyone I know!!! Why is everyone staring at me??!! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe Someone married me to an ugly woman "who-shall-remain-nameless". How can I get even with her. I want a hot guy like you. Katze ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Katze Do you want to get even with "W.S.R.N.", or the person who set you up with her? And of course you want a hot guy like me. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, You are my hero man. In an effort to reach the heights of your super-player status, I took a bit of a shortcut. I called a Gypsy that makes housecalls and purchased a number of Love Potion 8.5 It worked I am living La Vida Loca..but every night I go to sleep I only dream of the Gypsy! I only met this woman once..but every night she invades my dreams. What should I do? Signed, Gyped by the Gypsy ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Gyped, Screw the gypsy. You might as well. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, A. I am currently a Senior at Sim State....GO LLAMAS!!!....anyway during my freshman year I hooked up with the totally rockin spikey haired chick named Jan. She graduated and now her Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Granddaughter is living in my dorm. My question is...are there enough greats in her relations to Stella for me to have a GREAT time with her? Signed, Wanting a Great Time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Wanting a Great Time, First off, I think you are misunderstanding the meaning of "great" in this case. The number of "great"s for this granddaughter is referring to the number of generations she is removed from Jan. It does not quantify the "greatness" of the time to be had with her. All you can do is try, my friend. If she sucks, then she sucks. If she blows, then she blows. Either way, that's great. *wink* I can't believe I just went there. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, As I am now a Joe-Im-Training, am I related to you? Data ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Data (aka Joe-In-Training), There's always that possibility, I suppose, but no. I don't think so. But then again, what's your mom's name? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe I was hoping you'd be able to help me out of a sticky situation. My twin sister and I have both recently started university (Sim State) and got invited to a party.I don't remember all the details exactly (It was a pretty wild party) But from what I can make out we both ended up in bed with the same guy. Not at the same time. My sister thinks he's wonderful and that it was something macigal and special, but I feel this guy is just a sleeze. Should I tell my sister what he's really like? I don't want her to get hurt, and it seems like she really likes him a lot. Regards, Kerry Confused of Mayfair Plaza ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry Confused [QUOTE: I was hoping you'd be able to help me out of a sticky situation.] Pun intended? I'm sorry. That was gross. Okay, first off, do you know this guy any more than your sister does? What makes you think he's a sleaze? What if he thinks you two are the "sleazes" because you both slept with him in the same night? That's kinda freaky deaky, there, chica. Give me a little more info and your telephone number, and I'll get right on it. Oh, and I'll need your bra sizes in order to really assess the situation. In fact, a picture would be best. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q.Dear Joe OK, here's the full story. My sister and I were at the party, there was a lot of booze and a fair amount of dope going around... We were both sitting with Dieter and then he went off with Arianne, my sister. After they left I stayed with the other guys smoking, I have never felt so high in my whole life, I felt like I was floating and turning somersaults in the air. I don't know how long for, time had no meaning anymore. The room was so filled with smoke it was hard to see your hand in front of your face and my eyes weren't too keen on focussing by then either. He came and sat behind me, his legs around mine, I was too stoned and hazy to see or even care exactly who he was, but I could feel his tight muscular chest pressing against my back, and his strong arms around me as we passed the pipe between us. When he started kissing me it seemed so natural, and when he pulled my top off I didn't care, even though we were still in the room with everyone else. We could hardly even see each other, no way anyone else could have seen what was going on. I'm not sure what came over me, I'd never do anything like this usually, must have been the weed, and the way his body felt against mine. He was no fumbling boy, he knew just how to push my buttons. We made love, right there, in the room, he turned me around on his lap, half kneeling on the cushions, half naked, my head buried in his shoulder to stop from crying out. It was the most intense experience I have ever had. I didn't find out until talking to Arianne the next morning that he'd left her sleeping, to come back for me. Kerry Confused of Mayfair Plaza ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry Confused Uh...hmmm Is it getting hot in here? Can't we open a window, or something? TURN ON THE FREAKING AC, PEOPLE! Okay. Fuck. Whew. Kpe. I MEAN Joe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry Confused P.S. Do I know you???????? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, I don't think so, have you ever been to Mayfair Plaza? Kerry ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry (gulp) Yes. Yes, I have. Joe Can someone bring me a glass of water? PLEASE?! Maybe toss in some kind of mind-altering drug? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, You probably ran into one of my relatives, I have 14 siblings and who knows how many cousins, and nieces. Thinking about it.... Do you play pool? Kerry ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry Please tell me you're not my daughter. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME YOU'RE NOT MY KID!!!!! JOE!!!! I mean Joe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nah I doubt it, my mum and dad have been together just about forever. Unless my mum looks familiar to you?... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Kerry, Hrmm...no. Nope. Can't say she does. What a relief! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Joe, Don't panic so much, I'm the one who should look familiar to you... Nadine ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nadine hi.howareyou... Joe I MEAN Joe Nice weather, outside, huh?!! HUH??!!! Get moving with the water, STAT. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe, Well it's warmer than last time we were talking that's for sure. It appears you left a little something behind on your vacation.... Or should I say two little somethings? I'm sure you'll be thrilled to meet: Sammi: And Harley: Nadine ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Nadine Nope, I definitely didn't bring any kids with me on that trip. And the only thing I left behind was a shoe, because I couldn't get it off the ceiling fan. So, no. You might want to check the lost and found. Cute little tykes, though, huh? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe Sure, whatever, just thought you should know. Nadine ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Nadine Okay, then. Joe NEXT QUESTION! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, I'm a recently transitioned adult sim and find myself in a bit of a pickle. You see, my parents lived with their best friends up until their untimely deaths. At this point my father's best friend and his wife helped to raise me and my younger siblings. Upon reaching adulthood I started to develop tingly feelings towards my 'foster' dad. Before I knew it we were stealing kisses on the balcony. Oh, the joy! As you can guess, we eventually ended up in a mad session of woohoo which resulted in a pregnancy. In an effort to save face, and a pounding from his wife, I quickly married some dude I don't love and made it appear that he is the father of my unborn child. Here is my conundrum. Do I continue living this charade or do I follow my heart and go after my true love? A speedy response would be much appreciated as my daddy...er, lover is about to kick the bucket. Sincerely yours, Ms. Befuddled ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Ms. Befuddled, I'm on the fence with this one. Your dad lover is about to kick off, huh? Almost doesn't matter, then, does it? Okay, that's the jerk in me talking. "Nice guy" Joe says that for the sake of the child, the truth should be revealed. And as far as following your heart goes...yeah. Do that. Go be with your old man! Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, The speed in which you deliver advice is top notch. As of this response, my true love is still hanging on and I will now rush to his side. I will do this despite the fact that I'll be destroying a life long relationship between two people I consider to be my parents; despite the fact that I risk serious bodily harm from a mean-spirited old hag; despite the fact that my unborn child will most likely not be delivered in time to meet his true father; despite the fact that I will emo- tionally scar all members of my family; and despite the fact that my current husband will be so heartbroken he may end up on suicide watch. Yes, dear Joe, you are one fine giver of advice. I must go now my dearest Joe, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your response. Off I go to be with my love. Sincerely, No Longer Befuddled ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear No Longer Befuddled, Wait...NO! Stop!!!!!! You must get befuddled, again! Befuddle yourself!!!! I seem to have missed a "few" details in your question...do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I said!!!!! This time only. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dearest Joe, You indeed have me befuddled once more. Your first response provided me with such expert advice, yet now you have decided to revise your decision? Call me befuddled, call me lost, call me a floozy, um, I mean confused. How am I to go against what I consider the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me? You see my dilema here, right? Perhaps I just need to take a few minutes to ponder your last reply. However, not too many minutes as time is of the essence in this situation. Truly yours, Double Befuddled ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Double Befuddled You ponder, I'll start drinking. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Hello Joe, After taking much time and consideration, at least a whole two minutes, I decided that I would go with your original advice and be with my love. Believe me, this was not an easy decision as I highly regard the kernels of knowledge you so graciously dispense to the downtrodden masses. However, it appears my aching heart felt the need to lead the way. Alas, a most unfortunate even happened as I ran home to throw myself at my happy pappy. Upon my arrival I was greeted, not only by my amor, but by Grim Reaper himself! You must realize what a terrible predicament I was in. Would I throw all caution to the wind and express my love, letting my father die a happy man, or would I just shut my mouth and slink out of the room like a coward. The answer was so clear! <----Hubba hubba After slithering out of the room in complete disgrace, I ran to the backyard and found my husband. Oh, my dear, no nosed, huge mouthed husband. As he caressed my face I realized that all would be just fine. No more straying, no more clandestine affairs. Just my wonderful, caring Husband. He's the only one for me. I mean it. Really. By the way, how are things with you and your wife? <------See my dilemma? Anyway, thank you again for all of your time and advice. If you feel like maybe sharing that drink with somebody, just give me a holler. Not too loudly of course, we wouldn't want to disturb my husband. I bid you adieu. Yours, and only yours, Led Astray No More ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear Led Astray No More I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I think. Or happy to hear about your gain. I think? I need more booze. And, wait... QUOTE: ["Yours, and only yours,"] I thought you were his and only his? Or the other his's...izziz... So now you're mine and only mine??? When did I become part of this equation? Maybe I'm being too literal. Maybe I'm not drinking fast enough. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh, and P.S.: *ahem* A. Dear Led Astray No More QUOTE: [By the way, how are things with you and your wife?] The wife and I are GREAT, thanks for asking!!!!!!!!!!!! She did *not* force me to post that. Nope. No way. I am NOT whipped. Very Married Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Dear Joe, Rumor has it you have a gazillion kids and dont care if a gazillion more show up. My wife Kaylynn an d I have 12 kids .thing started out with quads then 3 set of twins and two single babies I am close to all of my kids thank god but now Kaylynn says she wants more. should I go with it or make Kaylynn give up the Idea of more kids? signed a hapless pleasure sim, James ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A. Dear James, I apologize for the delayed response. I had to help a million kids do their homework and clean up a kicked-over trashcan gone bad. Very very bad. Vermin from hell! All right, let me squelch a couple of rumors right here. First, I do *not* have a gazillion kids. I have...uh...around 20, give or take a hundred. Second, I *do* care if I have a gazillion more. Even I have my limits. Should you go for it? Well, since you're a pleasure sim, I suppose it depends on your idea of "pleasure". If "pleasure" means giving up your couch-lounging because your low aspira- tion kiddies are jumping all over it, then go for it. If "pleasure" means waiting 15th in line for the karaoke machine, only to get behind the mic and pee yourself then become 15th in line for the shower, then go for it. It's all a matter of perspective. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe I and the love of my life, Chris, are both romance sims. We share a true, triple bolt love for eachother. I am devoted to her with all my being and yet, I also am deeply in love with Heather Huffington. I am completely tormented as I have an unbearable desire to become engaged to Chris, while at the same time I want nothing more than to sweep Heather off her feet with some serious woo-hoo. I don’t want to hurt Chris, as I know Heather and I will never share the true love I do with her, but I am concerned I might not be able to stay true in the safe, comfortable relationship that my goddess is offering to us. What shall I do? Cameron the Lovelorn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Cameron the Lovelorn, I hate to break this to you, but the way we Romance sims are wired, if you DON'T become engaged to Chris, you will want to become engaged to Heather once you woohoo her. Or you might become deathly afraid of getting engaged to Heather AND Chris. While at the same time WANTING these things. Romance sims are weird. However, you *are* a Romance sim. You must woohoo, then move on to the next conquest... which also will not be Chris. *OR* Depending on what kind of hold Chris has on you, you can IGNORE those wants, which will make you miserable in the short run, but your married life will be much happier in the long run. You'll start rolling wants to teach commands to your pets, like has happened to me. I've apparently lost all desire for woohoo since Pets, as the only things I want to do are play with Frassy and command Chip to shake paws. I am obsessed with cats, whereas before I was obsessed with p***y. I don't know how I feel about what has become of my manhood with this latest EP. Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, I am a romance sim here in Strangetown. I use to be a townie until the local simgod took me out of eternal life and into her control. My simgod is way cool, since she makes sure I get my LTW's fulfilled. Even when she starts all over and grabs me from townie life. She even gets me married to a family sim and I always have a couple of kids.( But I am NOT a closet family sim BTW) My question is this Joe? Is it possiable to hit a want to fuc....er..woohoo sixty different sims? And could you ask my simgod to get a nojealousy hack, so I can enjoy woohooing without the pain of getting slapped by my wife and hated by my kids? Got to go, my son brought home his girlfriend from college and she looks smoking hot. Abhijeet Cho ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear...Abhijeet??? (You aren't so lucky in my 'hood.) Dude, I have never rolled a want to fucerwoohoo 60 different sims. I'm not even sure what that means. Joe ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Abhijeet's SimGod, Could you please get Abhijeet a no jealousy hack so he can enjoy fucerwoohooing without the pain of getting slapped by his wife and hated by his kids? Joe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Joe, I am a Romance sim in Pleasant View who recently tied the knot after six kids with your Clone..........had to wait until ol Mortimer kicked the bucket leaving me a very rich widow indeed to make thing legit ! Justin,Samantha and Colleen are all grown leaving only Jeremy,Monica and Cossette at home along with Mortimers twins Glen and Gwen. Cossette ,Monica and Jeremy were raised from Infancy to childhood by Mortimer and recieved a nice chunk of change from Mortie when he died as an inheritance. Mr Joe and I are discussing the I dea of more children and while I and he are both Romance sims it doesn't seem like such a bad Idea. Jeremy is the spitting Image of Joe and the girls are little beauties in the making. should we go for the gusto and have more kids? or stare at each other and deny that we make gorgeous kids? signed Bedazzled Bella ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Bedazzled Bella, I am probably the last one who should advise anyone NOT to have more kids, but I'm also probably the best one. It's a little weird that I, a romance sim to the core, have a gazillion kids but my twin brother, Gary, a die-hard family sim, has a fraction of that. He's always rolling wants for more, poor dude, but he's married to my ex-wife, Jennie, and she can be emotionally and mentally unstable at times, so he's been putting it off. Good thing he's already perma-plat! I, on the other hand, get a girl pregnant if I stare at her too long. I don't know if that says more about my sexual prowess, or my gullibility when I hear the words "Oh, yes, Joe, I have birth control enabled in the inteen!" When crammy's ready to go, he'll believe anything. As for whether I think you should have more kids, your grown kids will have start to have grandkids and you will be every bit as happy to have them, if not moreso. They will also be very goodlooking. That I know. And there's no need to "deny" you make great looking kids! Admit it! Be proud of it! Doesn't mean you have to keep making more to prove a point, because, sooner or later, you just may get one that gets the wrong mix of genetics and you'll realize you should have stopped while you were ahead. Joe -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------