Q. Dear Joe,
I'm a recently transitioned adult sim and find myself in a bit of a pickle. You see, my parents lived with their best friends up until their untimely deaths. At this point my father's best friend and his wife helped to raise me and my younger siblings.
Upon reaching adulthood I started to develop tingly feelings towards my 'foster' dad. Before I knew it we were stealing kisses on the balcony. Oh, the joy! As you can guess, we eventually ended up in a mad session of woohoo which resulted in a pregnancy. In an effort to save face, and a pounding from his wife, I quickly married some dude I don't love and made it appear that he is the father of my unborn child.
Here is my conundrum. Do I continue living this charade or do I follow my heart and go after my true love? A speedy response would be much appreciated as my daddy...er, lover is about to kick the bucket.
Sincerely yours,
Ms. Befuddled
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A. Dear Ms.
Befuddled,
I'm on the fence with this one. Your Okay, that's the jerk in me talking. "Nice guy" Joe
says that for the sake of the child, the truth
should be revealed. And as far as following your heart goes...yeah. Do that. Go be with your old man!
Joedad lover is about to kick off, huh? Almost doesn't matter, then, does it?
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Dear Joe,
The speed in which you deliver advice is top notch. As of this response, my true love is still hanging on and I will now rush to his side. I will do this despite the fact that I'll be destroying a life long relationship between two people I consider to be my parents; despite the fact that I risk serious bodily harm from a mean-spirited old hag; despite the fact that my unborn child will most likely not be delivered in time to meet his true father; despite the fact that I will emotionally scar all members of my family; and despite the fact that my current husband will be so heartbroken he may end up on suicide watch.
Yes, dear Joe, you are one fine giver of advice. I must go now my dearest Joe, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your response. Off I go to be with my love.
Sincerely,
No Longer Befuddled
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A. Dear No
Longer Befuddled,
Wait...NO! Stop!!!!!! You must get befuddled,
again! Befuddle yourself!!!!
I seem to have missed a "few" details in your
question...do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I
said!!!!!
This time only.
Joe
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Q. Dearest Joe,
You indeed have me befuddled once more. Your first response provided me with such expert advice, yet now you have decided to revise your decision? Call me befuddled, call me lost, call me a floozy, um, I mean confused. How am I to go against what I consider the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me? You see my dilema here, right? Perhaps I just need to take a few minutes to ponder your last reply. However, not too many minutes as time is of the essence in this situation.
Truly yours,
Double Befuddled
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A. Dear Double
Befuddled
You ponder, I'll start drinking.
Joe
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Q. Hello Joe,
After taking much time and consideration, at least a whole two minutes, I decided that I would go with your original advice and be with my love. Believe me, this was not an easy decision as I highly regard the kernels of knowledge you so graciously dispense to the downtrodden masses. However, it appears my aching heart felt the need to lead the way.
Alas, a most unfortunate even happened as I ran home to throw myself at my happy pappy. Upon my arrival I was greeted, not only by my amor, but by Grim Reaper himself! You must realize what a terrible predicament I was in. Would I throw all caution to the wind and express my love, letting my father die a happy man, or would I just shut my mouth and slink out of the room like a coward. The answer was so clear!
<----Hubba hubba
After slithering out of the room in complete disgrace, I ran to the backyard and found my husband. Oh, my dear, no nosed, huge mouthed husband. As he caressed my face I realized that all would be just fine. No more straying, no more clandestine affairs. Just my wonderful, caring Husband. He's the only one for me. I mean it. Really. By the way, how are things with you and your wife?
<------See my dilemma?
Anyway, thank you again for all of your time and advice. If you feel like maybe sharing that drink with somebody, just give me a holler. Not too loudly of course, we wouldn't want to disturb my husband. I bid you adieu.
Yours, and only yours,
Led
Astray No More 
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A. Dear Led
Astray No More I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I think. Or
happy to hear about your gain. I think?
I need more booze.
And, wait...
QUOTE: ["Yours, and only yours,"]
I thought you were his and only his? Or the other
his's...izziz... So now you're mine and only
mine??? When did I become part of this equation?
Maybe I'm being too literal. Maybe I'm not drinking
fast enough.
Joe
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Oh, and P.S.:
*ahem*
A. Dear Led Astray No More QUOTE: [By the way, how are things with you and
your wife?]
The wife and I are GREAT, thanks for
asking!!!!!!!!!!!!
She did *not* force me to post that. Nope. No way.
I am NOT whipped.
Very Married
Joe
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Q. Dear Joe,
Rumor has it you have a gazillion kids and dont
care if a gazillion more show up. 
My wife Kaylynn and I have 12
kids. Things started out with quads then 3 set of twins and two single babies I am close to all of my kids thank god but now
Kaylynn says she wants more. should I go with it or
make Kaylynn give up the Idea of more kids?
signed a hapless pleasure sim,
James
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A. Dear James,
I apologize for the delayed response. I had to help
a million kids do their homework and clean up a
kicked-over trashcan gone bad. Very very bad. Vermin from hell!
All right, let me squelch a couple of rumors right
here. First, I do *not* have a gazillion kids. I
have...uh...around 20, give or take a hundred. Second, I *do* care if I
have a gazillion more. Even I have my limits.
Should you go for it? Well, since you're a pleasure
sim, I suppose it depends on your idea of
"pleasure". If "pleasure" means giving up your couch-lounging because your
low aspiration kiddies are jumping all over it,
then go for it. If "pleasure" means waiting 15th in line for the karaoke machine, only to get behind the mic and
pee yourself then become 15th in line for the
shower, then go for it.
It's all a matter of perspective.
Joe
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Dear Joe
I and the love of my life, Chris, are both romance sims. We share a true, triple bolt love for eachother. I am devoted to her with all my being and yet, I also am deeply in love with Heather Huffington. I am completely tormented as I have an unbearable desire to become engaged to Chris, while at the same time I want nothing more than to sweep Heather off her feet with some serious woo-hoo.
I don't want to hurt Chris, as I know Heather and I will never share the true love I do with her, but I am concerned I might not be able to stay true in the safe, comfortable relationship that my goddess is offering to us. What shall I do?
Cameron the Lovelorn
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Dear Cameron
the Lovelorn,
I hate to break this to you, but the way we Romance
sims are wired, if you DON'T become engaged to Chris, you will want to
become engaged to Heather once you woohoo her.
Or you might become deathly afraid of getting
engaged to Heather AND Chris. While at the same time WANTING these things.
Romance sims are weird.
However, you *are* a Romance sim. You must woohoo,
then move on to the next conquest... which also will not be Chris.
*OR*
Depending on what kind of hold Chris has on you,
you can IGNORE those wants, which will make you miserable in the short
run, but your married life will be much happier in the long run. You'll
start rolling wants to teach commands to your pets, like has happened to
me. I've apparently lost all desire for woohoo since Pets, as the only
things I want to do are play with Frassy and command Chip to shake paws. I
am obsessed with cats, whereas before I was obsessed with p***y.
I don't know how I feel about what has become of my
manhood with this latest EP.
Joe 
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Dear Joe,
I am a romance sim here in Strangetown. I use to be a townie until the local simgod took me out of eternal life and into her control. My simgod is way cool, since she makes sure I get my LTW's fulfilled. Even when she starts all over and grabs me from townie life. She even gets me married to a family sim and I always have a couple of kids.( But I am NOT a closet family sim BTW)
My question is this Joe? Is it possiable to hit a want to fuc....er..woohoo sixty different sims? And could you ask my simgod to get a nojealousy hack, so I can enjoy woohooing without the pain of getting slapped by my wife and hated by my kids? Got to go, my son brought home his girlfriend from college and she looks smoking hot.
Abhijeet Cho
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Dear...Abhijeet???
Dude, I have never rolled a want to fucerwoohoo 60
different sims. I'm not even sure what that means.
Joe 
(You aren't so lucky in my 'hood.)
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Dear Abhijeet's SimGod,
Could you please get Abhijeet a no jealousy hack so
he can enjoy fucerwoohooing without the pain of getting slapped by his
wife and hated by his kids?
Joe
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Dear Joe,
I am a Romance sim in Pleasant View who recently tied the knot after six kids with your Clone..........had to wait until ol Mortimer kicked the bucket leaving me a very rich widow indeed to make thing legit ! Justin,Samantha and Colleen are all grown leaving only Jeremy,Monica and Cossette at home along with Mortimers twins Glen and Gwen. Cossette ,Monica and Jeremy were raised from Infancy to childhood by Mortimer and recieved a nice chunk of change from Mortie when he died as an inheritance.
Mr Joe and I are discussing the I dea of more children and while I and he are both Romance sims it doesn't seem like such a bad Idea. Jeremy is the spitting Image of Joe and the girls are little beauties in the making. should we go for the gusto and have more kids? or stare at each other and deny that we make gorgeous kids?
signed
Bedazzled Bella
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Dear Bedazzled
Bella,
I am probably the last one who should advise anyone
NOT to have more kids, but I'm also probably the best one. It's a little
weird that I, a romance sim to the core, have a gazillion kids but my twin
brother, Gary, a die-hard family sim, has a fraction of that. He's always
rolling wants for more, poor dude, but he's married to my ex-wife, Jennie,
and she can be emotionally and mentally unstable at times, so he's been
putting it off. Good thing he's already perma-plat! I, on the other hand,
get a girl pregnant if I stare at her too long. I don't know if that says
more about my sexual prowess, or my gullibility when I hear the words "Oh,
yes, Joe, I have birth control enabled in the inteen!" When crammy's ready
to go, he'll believe anything.
As for whether I think you should have more kids,
your grown kids will have start to have grandkids and you will be every
bit as happy to have them, if not moreso. They will also be very
goodlooking. That I know. And there's no need to "deny" you make great
looking kids! Admit it! Be proud of it! Doesn't mean you have to keep
making more to prove a point, because, sooner or later, you just may get
one that gets the wrong mix of genetics and you'll realize you should have
stopped while you were ahead.
Joe
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